I’ve known a lot of people who have owned pool tables, and not once has the question “how do you move a pool a table?” come up. You know why? Because it’s as heavy as Hades, so when people are relocating they just leave the damn thing behind and take up a new hobby.
If you decide that you need to play a game of billiards in another room or maybe another state, however, it’s easy enough to transport it. Simply call up your local professional moving company and get them to do it while you sip a cocktail out on the front deck. A pool table is not only the heaviest item in the house, but if you dent it during transportation or reassemble it incorrectly, you’ll probably be accused of hustling and chased out of town by an angry mob.
But if all my good advice has still gone unheeded, then here is how to move a pool table like a winner:
Remove the 6 side pockets.
Of the table, silly, not your cargo pants. For this task you will need to unfasten the staples (or unscrew the screws) that are holding them on. It should go without saying, but for the love of your sanity, be sure to deposit these and all ensuing small parts in ziplock baggies that are clearly labeled with the contents. You don’t want to attempt to reassemble your pool table and find yourself with a work of modern art in your rec room instead.
Detach the rails.
Not from the train tracks; from the table. (Seriously, the cocktail was only for those of you who were watching the pool table transport, not participating.) The rail is the top surface of the table that is not covered with felt. To detach it, you’ll need to unscrew the bolts.
Take off the felt.
The felt—the green fabric that pool tables are famous for—is glued to the surface on which it sits, so you’ll need a gentle hand and a lot of patience to peel this baby off. The reason for its removal is to prevent damaging it when you move the pool table, which will entirely ruin any game of billiards. If you decide to simply replace the felt, though, go ahead and gleefully rip it off.
Unfasten the slate.
Now that you’ve gotten rid of the felt, you’ll need to remove the slate, which is the heavy rock layer right beneath the felt. And by heavy, I mean in the neighborhood of 600-950 pounds. Take out the screws that are holding it down, gather up 20 of your closest bodybuilding friends, and lift it out.
Disconnect the legs from the frame.
This is probably the easiest task of all, aside from the “peel the felt off” step. Wrap the legs in heavy cloth or bubble wrap.
And that’s it. You now have a dissembled pool table that is ready for transportation. Like I said, unless you are close and personal friends with the last six winners of the Mr. Olympia competition, you really ought to consider hiring a professional moving company—but be sure to tell them about the pool table in advance.
By the way, for those curious about the title of this blog, “money ball” is the name for the ball that when pocketed, wins the game.
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