Picture Moving Boxes For Your Gold-Framed Jesus

Your great Aunt Cornelia finally kicked the bucket and you showed up at the reading of the will teary-eyed, heavy-hearted, and open-handed. Sure you loved her, but if you’re honest with yourself, you loved her 10-bedroom, 5-bathroom estate more. But you were always kind to her, so you’re hoping that she returns the favor from the beyond.

She bequeathed you her entire art collection, from the gold-framed Jesus to the velvet van Gogh. Turns out ol’ Cornelia was one color short of a full palette when she referred to her paintings as “priceless.” Yeah—as in zero dollars. Even so, you’re pretty sure you can sell them to a guy you know who’s an underground art dealer. Literally. He lives in the subway system. 

You certainly can’t transport this art collection back home in your ’67 Mustang, so you’ll have to ship it. But even a seemingly simple task like packing up framed pictures can induce a sense of dread. How on earth do you fit paintings into square moving boxes? You don’t. You pack them in picture moving boxes. And here’s how:

What You’ll Need

How To Pack Those Classy Velvet van Goghs

  1. Wrap the “artwork” in several sheets of packing paper just as you would wrap a present. It’s a good idea to write what it is on the outside of the paper. For example, “The Starry-Eyed Knight.” (If the velvet didn’t alert you that it wasn’t a real van Gogh…)
  2. A picture moving box set includes two pieces which are adjustable. Assemble one piece, tape it up good and strong, and stuff the bottom of it with your aunt’s crumpled up will. Or packing paper. Same diff. Do the same with the second piece.
  3. Slide that “invaluable” painting into one of the pieces, secure with tape, and then slip the second piece on. Use plenty of tape because unlike your political stance, you don’t want your pictures to shift from side to side.
  4. Label the box. For example, “Not fragile. Handle with disregard.”
  5. For bigger pictures, like the floor-to-ceiling paint-by-numbers Jesus, you’ll need two sets (four pieces) of picture moving boxes.

If this doesn’t make sense (the packing instructions, not why you accepted this lousy inheritance in the first place), take a look at these nifty instructional sketches.

Because picture boxes are adjustable, they work with other things besides faux-art, too, like mirrors, large photographs, and real art. The key is to make sure that whatever you are packing fits snugly into the boxes to prevent the item from moving around and becoming damaged. Unless, of course, you’re trying to damage it….

Selena Templeton

Selena Templeton is a writer and editor who sees the world through Giggle Glass, a type of wearable technology with an optical head-mounted display plus false nose and mustache. It reveals the absurd, amusing, and inappropriate goings on of daily life and displays it in a lap top-like hands-on format, from which she posts to various blogs such as Self Storage Finders, Romantically Challenged, and SelenaTempleton.com. As a former professional organizer and a current Virgo, she is a self-diagnosed authority on storage, packing, organizing, and general neat freakishness.

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