There comes a time in every bachelor’s life when he must face the reality of the state of his bathroom—and by ‘reality’ we mean the Department of Public Health. The toothpaste splatters on the mirror, the empty toilet paper roll, and the stack of magazines next to the can are all minor issues. But when it comes to wet, moldy towels piled high on the floor…this is the stuff that natural disaster movies are made of.
All successful people have one thing in common. Not their ability to get back up after they fall, not their willingness to ask for help, not their insane need to rise at the crack o’ dawn—their towel-free bathroom floor. To paraphrase Robert F. Kennedy: “Only those who dare to implement towel rack ideas greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
If you’re ready to turn your life around—or at least be able to turn around in your bathroom without slipping on soggy terrycloth—check out these six creative towel rack ideas to keep the health department at bay.
- If you’re between the ages of 18 and 88, chances are you’re no stranger to the bottle. (Wine bottle, that is, not baby bottle. Although….) Just because you’re not ready to join AA yet doesn’t mean that you can’t put your addiction to good use. Empty wine racks make very attractive towel holders.
- Okay, so maybe you’re not an alcoholic. Or maybe a wine rack doesn’t match your hurricane decor. An easy way to clean up the ol’ WC and show off your manliness is to install a PVC towel rack. PVC is a type of pipe made of material that is resistant to weathering, rotting, chemical corrosion, shock and abrasion—i.e. perfect for a guy’s latrine.
- Of course, let’s not forget the simplest of ideas: the standard hang-any-ol’-thing-on-it hook. No fuss, no muss—and no character. If you like this idea but want to spruce it up with a little more of your personality, try attaching the hooks to an old oar, and hang that sucker on the wall. Keep in mind that this idea works better if you’ve actually been in a canoe or kayak. Otherwise you just look like a serial killer turned hoarder.
- Some bachelors prefer using paper plates and plastic forks to avoid having to do the dishes each night. Take this idea one step further—right into the bathroom!—and install a large paper towel holder. Just make sure you’re using industrial-strength paper towels or you’ll spend the day picking dried bits of paper off your body. This way, you shower, dry off, and throw the “towel” away.
- Like most men, you probably have a basement or garage full of tools and equipment that you take out for those special occasion when you want to show people how manly you are. (No judgment there—women have our own version of this: namely, stilettos.) Rather than letting these items collect dust, turn a short ladder into…you guessed it…a towel ladder! As a bonus, when you need to change the light bulb, your handy ladder is already there.
- And, of course, your problem may not be that you’re a modern-day caveman, but rather you simply have a lack of space because you live in an urban shanty. But as long as you have a door, you can attach several standard towel racks to it. Warning: this maneuver will turn your pad into a babe magnet, so be prepared for the onslaught of female attention.
*Note: this article focuses on the untidy male because, let’s face it, the majority of pig-sty loos belong to this gender. If you disagree, please take a photo of your Martha Stewart-worthy bathroom and send it to me. And then come over and clean mine.
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