Picture this: you’ve just been evicted and have three days to pack up your entire home and move out. You’re surrounded by hundreds of cardboard boxes, masking tape, and Sharpies and are faced with the daunting task of categorizing your over-cluttered life. Your friends are all mysteriously “out of town” and yet you’re pretty sure you saw their Foursquare check-in from the Starbucks down the street.
There’s only one thing that could make this day better. Your Make-A-Wish Foundation request came true and George Clooney is knocking on your door for a date. Okay, two things. That and an awesome, pre-selected playlist of the 20 best moving songs ever compiled.
Songs of Resentment
- She’s a Maniac – Irene Cara (from Flashdance). Need I say more? If so, the lyrics “On the ice blue line of insanity/Is a place most never see” may help you work through your anger.
- Gives You Hell – All American Rejects. When you think ‘resentment,’ what’s the first song that comes to mind? That’s right. The one that says “When you see my face/Hope it gives you hell.”
- If I Never See Your Face Again – Maroon 5. If you want to do something productive with all those dark feelings towards your landlord, try creeping him out by leaving this song on his voicemail: “Now you’ve gone somewhere else far away/I don’t know if I will find you/But you feel my breath on your neck/Can’t believe I’m right behind you.”
- Bad Reputation – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. You can never have too much Joan Jett, and this song is especially helpful for releasing feelings of anger and bitterness. Singing along at the top of your voice is not only cathartic for you, it’s annoying for your landlord.
Songs To Cry To
- 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon. If you’ve been sleeping with your landlord or lady, this is the song for you. If you haven’t been sleeping with him or her, why not? You might still be living in your apartment.
- Leave Me Alone – Michael Jackson. With lyrics like “Time after time I gave you all of my money” this song was surely written after the The King of Pop was evicted.
- It’s the Hard Knock Life – Aileen Quinn (from Annie). You don’t have to be an orphan to identify with this song. “Instead of getting treated/We get tricked.” I hear ya, Annie!
Songs That Will Light a Fire Under Your Assets
- Traveling Without Moving – Jamiroquai. This song is best enjoyed with a side of bell bottoms and platform shoes because when you hear it you’re going to wonder why you’re not disco dancing.
- Bust a Move – Young MC. We dare you to not tap your toes when this one comes on. For a bonus, take a break from your crying and watch the awesome ‘80s video. And as a bonus, check out Richard Cheese’s lounge version of this song.
- I Like the Way You Move – Bodyrockers. The chorus (and the build-up to the chorus) of this song will light a fire under your assets so big you’ll pack your entire living room in about five minutes. Just be sure to be patient through the somewhat creepy-sounding opening.
- Move It To the Rhythm – Technotronic. How can you not feel better with all this synth blasting??
- A Little Less Conversation – Elvis Presley. Elvis has got this right: sometimes you just need to shut up and listen to the music.
Songs For the Road
- Hit The Road, Jack – Ray Charles. This one actually makes more sense if it’s your landlord playing it at top volume outside your apartment door. Oh well.
- Don’t Look Back – Boston. Besides the fact that Boston should be on every play list, this song is perfect for moving day. “Don’t look back/A new day is breakin’/The road is callin’/Today is the day.”
Songs With the Word ‘Move’ In Them Because That’s Just Neat
- Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song) – Billy Joel. As he says, “Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?”
- The Way You Move – Outkast. The video to this song is especially helpful if you need a tutorial on how to change a tire in heels and Daisy Dukes.
- Pack It Up – The Pretenders. Ok, so this song doesn’t have the word ‘move’ in it, but ‘pack it up’ is pretty damn close. Chrissie Hynde knows of what she sings: “Pack it up or throw it away/What I can’t carry, bury.”
Songs of Triumph
- Feel Alive – Benassi Bros. Take a break from packing all those self-help books and just blast this song. Trust us.
- Moving On Up – Theme song to The Jeffersons. With lyrics such as “Well we’re movin’ on up, to the east side/To a deluxe apartment in the sky,” you can thank your landlord for his blessing-in-disguise eviction because you’re destined for better things! Unless, of course, ‘deluxe apartment in the sky’ is just a metaphor for death….
- Move – MercyMe. Upbeat musically and lyrically, this is an excellent song of triumph. “When life won’t play along/And right keeps going wrong…/So I won’t let it drag me down/Oh, I’ll keep dancing anyway.”
- I Hate You, Stupid Landlord! – Everyone Ever Evicted. Okay, so maybe this isn’t a real song. Yet. But it should be.
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