Planning Your Lady Lair

24 July 2014 by
lovely lady lair

Photo Credit: jannypie143 via Compfight cc

These days it’s not uncommon to hear about the man cave, a private sanctuary somewhere in the house where a man can go to be alone and do as he pleases. Home Goods Store suggests that men are not the only ones who need a room of their own. Women need their own space, too, and the idea is the same: it’s a relaxing getaway to escape the daily hassles of life.

Women are traditionally the ones who take care of everyone else, from family to friends, so it’s especially important for her to have her own special place to escape, unwind and relax. No matter what you call it–a mom cave, a woman’s cave, or a lady’s lair–the first thing you need to do is figure out what you want from your personal refuge.

What is the Purpose of the Space?

When picking a room for your lady’s lair and thinking about how you’d like to decorate it, it’s important to ask yourself what you intend to use it for. Understanding its purpose will help you determine how large a space and what items you’ll need to make it function for you.

  • Is it a quiet refuge for napping, reading or crafting?
  • Do you want a place where you can hang out with girlfriends, take those drum lessons you’ve always wanted to, or dance your cares away?
  • Will it be more of a safe space to stash your treasures and personal belongings without worrying that someone might misplace, break or borrow them?

5 Essential Items for Your Lady’s Lair

CraftJack’s ImproveNet home improvement website discusses the must-have items for any woman’s space, offering advice from New York City interior designer Elaine Griffin. Griffin suggests that the purpose of a lady’s lair is to give women a place where they can escape from the chaos in their lives to nurture themselves. Though it’s important to make this space unique and personal to you, Griffin offers these five essential elements for any mom cave:


Personal Things

Because the space is meant to be a haven, the personal touches a woman includes in her space should express the things that interest her, bring her joy, relax her and make her feel good about herself. This area is all about finding an inner sense of peace, so don’t bring anything into your sacred space that creates chaos or anxiety–and that means no to-do lists or laundry to fold!

Organizing Aids and Storage Areas


One of the best ways to ensure that you enjoy and continue to return to your pleasure palace is by making sure that the room is well-organized and clutter-free. Think of the organizing as part of the design and a way to add ambiance to the space. Get creative about storage solutions, such as bookshelves, fabric-covered boxes or trunks and wicker baskets. Make use of nooks, crannies and the space beneath the sofa.

A Desk or Workspace


Every woman needs a table or desk where she can do the things she enjoys. You may want to use the table for crafting, writing, spending time on the computer, or playing cards or other games with girlfriends. On the other hand, you may choose to use this quiet time to catch up on bills. The whole point of the lady’s lair is to give you a private area you don’t have to share with others and where you can do whatever you want.

Lots of Pillows and Comfy Seating Areas


Since the lady’s lair is all about comfort and relaxation, a cozy corner to curl up with a book, haul out the Kindle, or just lounge around doing nothing is a must. Large, brightly colored or patterned pillows add warmth and coziness to a small room and invite people to get comfy, while offering needed seating when bulky furniture might clutter the room. As long as the room has adequate storage solutions, you can stash those pillows neatly away when they aren’t in use.



No lady’s lair would be complete without those little touches that give it a special atmosphere that’s so essential to its purpose. Colorful lamps, warm lanterns or candles, fresh flowers, essential oil diffusers, throws, pictures and pleasant music are some of the ways that transform a room into a private, spa-like retreat!

Places to Look for Inspiration

Home improvement website Houzz shows women how they can create a dream space of their own, even if short on space. Whether it’s a closet or a guest house, you can have that Lady Lair you’ve always wanted. All you need to get started is a little inspiration.

If there isn’t enough space inside the house, there is no reason you can’t have a lady’s lair in the backyard. This whimsical idea from Pinterest shows a small enclosed gazebo with just enough room for a woman to enjoy tea, read, listen to music, or enjoy some quiet time alone. If you’re in the market for a newly built home, consider this Pinterest pin of a craftsman style garage with 510 square feet of living space (and a bathroom!) above it.

Budget is always an important consideration when doing any project involving re-purposing, renovating, or redecorating. Places like Houzz, Pinterest, HGTV, DIY Network and Home Goods are excellent resources because they can give you inspiration and ideas. The way to get that space you’ve dreamed of without breaking the bank is by channeling your creativity, looking for things you have but aren’t using, or hitting second-hand stores, yard sales or flea markets.

So now when your significant other disappears into his man cave, the dogs or kids are too rambunctious, you’ve had a long day at the office, or you just want to have girls’ night in, you know just where to go.

SSF Team

SSF Team

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