What’s In ARods Storage Unit?

25 September 2013 by



Alex Rodriguez has been embroiled in steroid and PED controversy for several years. He repeatedly denied using steroids including to ’60 Minutes’ back in 2007 and then was caught using steroids. He said he used them way back in 2001 because he was under enormous pressure to perform and said he would never do it again. Earlier this year, ARod was again caught allegedly using performance enhancers as a result of the Biogenesis scandal. He is currently playing for the New York Yankees while his suspension is being appealed.

When ARod was first coming into the league, scouts described him as one of the most prodigious young players they had ever seen. He has numerous awards and records to his name and was a very good baseball player prior to any PED or steroid allegations. He is the youngest player ever to hit 500 home runs, the youngest to 600 and has 14 100 RBI seasons. ARod is a 3 time AL MVP, 14 time All Star, 5 time AL Home Run Champ and a member of the 30-30 and 40-40 club among many other accolades. Yea, he’s good.

ARod has led a highly controversial career, in most part, due to his insane contracts and his use of PED’s and steroids. Off the field, Rodriguez has had a bumpy ride as well. He and his wife recently divorced and he’s been connected to several escorts. He has dated Madonna, Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz and is currently with WWE girl Torrie Wilson. All of this got us thinking….what would we find in an Alex Rodriguez storage unit?

Baseball Jerseys: Arod has played on the Mariners, Rangers and Yankees throughout his career. He left Seattle to sign a huge contract with Texas and then left Texas to sign a huge contract with the Yankees. He’s probably burned many bridges in each organization so I’d assume he had to steal a few jerseys on his way out. Either that or he bought them with his bajillion dollars.




MLB Awards: As pointed out above, ARod is a great baseball player. He would have his World Series ring, MVP trophies, bats and other personal memorabilia in the storage unit.


Contracts: Rodriguez signed some of the biggest contracts the sporting world has ever seen. Why wouldn’t he want to keep these for sentimental value? He could also show future employers what he was making at his old job for comparison sake.


Cash: He might need a 10×20 storage unit for his cash alone. He has earned more than $325 million in baseball salary alone. Add in endorsements and investments….wow.


Art: ARod is an avid art collector. This is one of the many pieces I imagine he has. Lovely isn’t it?


Mercedes: He owns a Mercedes Benz dealership in Texas. Most likely has several cars stored in his storage unit since Texans are none too happy with him for signing with the Yankees.

SL63 AMG Edition IWC

Guitar Hero: He was in a commercial promoting the Guitar Hero video game. The company most likely gave him enough games to keep him busy for a while.



Guitar Hero advert

Pepsi: Rodriguez was also in a Pepsi commercial when he was in Seattle. Pepsi must give pallets of product to anyone promoting their brand right?


Divorce Papers: Alex and his wife recently got divorced. She claimed it was because he was unfaithful.


Psychology Books: His wife was a psych major in college. He wanted to take her psychological advantage away and decided to stash her books in his storage unit.


Shrek and Something About Mary Movies: ARod famously dated Cameron Diaz for a while. Of course she would give him hundreds of copies of her most famous roles to keep.




Almost Famous DVD’s: He also dated Kate Hudson for a period of time. She also would give him hundreds of copies of her best roles. This is what movie stars do from what I’m told.

almost famous

Madonna’s?: Who knows what Madonna gave ARod during their brief dating period. Here’s a picture of some puppies to make you feel better about this one.


Steroids: ARod is currently playing baseball though he is supposed to be suspended. If MLB wants to search his home, locker etc for steroids, where is the one safe place to hide them? Storage unit, right.


Needles: It’s difficult to take steroids if you don’t have the needles. Keep the needles close to the ‘roids and you’re set at a moments notice.


Failed Drug Tests: Can’t let the media or Bud Selig find out about these tests. Better keep those under lock and key too.


Clutch Performances: ARod has a history of performing well during the regular season and then going ice cold during the playoffs. In Joe Torre’s book, he says Alex had another nickname “A-Fraud” due to his awful performances in the playoffs. Hey, they’ve got to be hiding somewhere, right?



Well, that would certainly be an entertaining episode of Storage Wars. Think we would find anything else in the self storage unit? We’d like to hear it from you. Sound off in the comments.

SSF Team

SSF Team

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